So...I lost. My opponent was very tough...toughest I've ever fought (sorry Nemeis), but beatable. I had the bye so I had the (mis)fortune(??) of watching him DESTROY his first opponent by bow and arrow choke after being up 10-0. Here's my recap of our fight:
Within 30secs or so I executed my game plan. I fed him my left collar and stepped forward slightly with my left foot. When he gripped my left collar I cross-gripped with my left hand and defended against his left grip. Stepped right, stepped left, then drop...seoi nage. It felt perfect. Hmmm... But he based out and resisted the throw. A friend watching fom the stands said folks around him yelled "woah" and couldn't believe he didn't go over. I think I know what happened. I didn't drop to my toes like Master Saulo shows in his DVD. I dropped flat on my ankles and, as a result, lost leverage to finish the take down. But...whenever I try to drop to my toes I get cramps or worse (stubbed toes). Besides...dropping to ankles always worked before. Well, this is Pans and my opponent had game. My guess he has a rassling background 'cause his base was ace.
He recovered well and I found myself on my side, modified turtle. Advantage him. Fortunately I'm VERY comfortable defending from that position. I worked my way back to open guard then began to execute my bottom game. Not sure why, but I was a bit surprised how long it took me to sink my spider guard and begin sweep/attack attempts. Finally set the left leg spider/bicep after three attempts I got the sweep off a pass (my bread and butter). I almost swept him twice and thought for sure I'd got an advantage, but alas, no. After the sweep I was up 2-0 and down an advantage.
Around here my memory got blurry. I recall being in his open guard and knowing exactly what to do to pass, but thinking, "that would take too much effort... burn too much energy." So I sat there waiting for him to make a move. YES... I was that guy. Up on points and stalling. He closed his guard. I sat in closed guard for what seemeed like forever...yup...still stalling. I stood up in an attempt to open his guard and he attempted a muscle sweep. Nope... I fell, but stuffed it.
Twice I remember being in guard and/or half-guard and knowing what to do to pass but not having the mental prowess to do anything about it. I felt like I almost passed guard twice, but didn't have the chutzpah to finish.
At some point he opened his guard and stood up. I half-heartedly defended and could have put him back on his arse, but i chose the lazy route...I reverted to my training. I'm comfortable on my back so I went with it. I laid back and played guard.
WRONG MOVE. Not only did he get 2pts for the "sweep" he got me in heavy top half with 30-45secs remaining. Down an advantage I knew I'd lost. I had no mojo to fight from bottom before the Ref called time. I lost.
Twice during the match I recall mentally telling myself: "you don't want this enough...you don't deserve it.". So, yes, I could have won. But didn't. Because I didn't want it bad enough.
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